its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Randomize
