i think my tv is drunk
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
