Me. At least after what I've been through.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
