Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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