Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize