It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
