Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
