I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
