I didn't shave. On purpose
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
