I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
