I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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