GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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