He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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