saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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