At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
