i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Fuck appropriateness.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
