How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
