I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
