I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think my moral compass just broke
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