conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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