That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
