You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
