all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize