I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
