I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
