the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
