OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize