who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
