So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
