Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
