butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I have fence marks all over my body
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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