Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize