Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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