I puked a lego.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
