Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
