There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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