We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize