Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
