She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
