Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
