I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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