He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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