well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize