Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
