I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
