hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
