No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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