they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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