dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
