what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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