I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
