it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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