You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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