Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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