Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
