We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
another moral hangover. fuck.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
