Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
