fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
