he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
