More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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