And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
