I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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