Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize