im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
