i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
