I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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