BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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