yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize