I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
sex in a hospital.. check
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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