So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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