the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
