my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
