ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
