I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
