i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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