tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
